ESSENTIAL SOCIAL SKILLS TO SURVIVE IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND!

The school playground can be an intimidating place! Depending on the school... lots of kids, lots of space and lots of noise! Surviving and indeed enjoying the school playground with friends, is often the main concern for parents as their children start school. 

Children in the playground need to be able to initiate conversation, join in a group, negotiate, take turns, understand and follow rules in a game, co-operate with others, assert their opinion whilst listening to others, empathize appropriately and be a good sport! 

​One of the keys to a positive experience in the school playground is the development of social skills prior to starting school. These skills may be encouraged over time whilst children play in their everyday settings.

Social skills between children are learnt through play experiences with other children.  These skills are important for communication , self confidence, resilience and positive relationships.  

Development of Social Interaction Skills
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By 3 years of age, children are playing beside each other with the same activity (parallel play).   These children are interested in their own activity, whilst happy to sit next to anther child who is also interested in their own activity. You may find children in a sand pit where they are all playing with the sand (eg. digging, pouring, building) but they may not be playing the same game together.  Children are beginning to take turns with other children. 

By 4 years of age, children begin to co-operate and negotiate their play with other children.  They express play ideas and who will play what role, however they may also have difficulty resolving conflicts on their own.  Children are starting to play group games with rules, learning to follow these rules and encouraging others to also follow the rules. 

By 5 years of age, children can co-operate and negotiate in their play.  Games and imaginary play are becoming more complex and organised.  Children are learning to approach others to join in a group as well as assert themselves to manage conflict.  These children are learning to stand up for themselves against antisocial or undesirable behaviour from their peers. 

By 6 - 8 years of age, children are learning about good sportsmanship in games (being a good winner and a good loser). They are learning how to empathize with other children and offer support.  Children are also learning how to communicate their needs and ideas, whilst respecting and listening to the needs of others. They are working out how to negotiate when disagreements arise as well as making joint decisions. 

Whilst these social skills are written with age guidelines, you may find older children also participating in the types of play listed for younger children.  This is especially common when children are meeting each other for the first time or getting to know each other.  For example, when children start school they are unfamiliar with their environment and  the other children so may be happy to play alongside other kids with limited interaction. 

Some children will have difficulty with the social skills required in a playground.

Here are 5 ways to help your child's social skill development! 

(1) Provide social situations where child interaction is fostered - These might include places such as a park, the beach, play date at home, church playground, local pool, camp ground, etc. 

(2) Modelling 

• You can demonstrate to your child basic interaction skills such as smiling and making eye contact.  
• You may model how to greet other children "Hi John, can I play too?" or "I like slides, can I go after you?" 
• You may model friendship skills such as giving someone a "hi 5" when they achieved something. 
• You may demonstrate how playing alongside another child can encourage future social interaction (eg. skipping next to another child skipping).

(3) Game Play 

• Provide opportunities for turn taking and waiting.  Teach your child the skills such as counting to 10 until they get off a swing to let someone else have a turn. 
• Provide opportunities to learn games with rules (eg. a card game,  board game, What's the time Mr Wolf?, handball, etc).
• When learning games and motor skills, help children to learn the social skills that are part of the game (eg. "Your turn", "My turn").

(4) Stories

• Use social stories or videos to introduce social skills.  This may include the non-verbal communication skills needed when interacting with other children. An example of video modelling may be found at Model Me Kids. 
• Use picture books to discuss social situations with your child .  "How did Beth feel when she missed out on a turn?  What happened to make Tom cross during the game? How did the kids work together to build the sand castle?"

​(5) Collaboration and Conflict Resolution

• Help young children to resolve conflicts explaining why certain decisions are made.  For example. "It is time for Simon to hold the bubble wand because you have held it for the last 5 minutes.  When Simon has had 5 minutes then you can have another turn. Let's set the timer so it is fair."  
• Help young children to work collaboratively.  For example.  "Sally can you help build this castle by filling the bucket with sand.  Matt can you help build this castle by digging a moat.  Ryan can you help build this castle by collecting shells to decorate it. Great job working together!" 
• Help children to empathize with each other. For example. "Kim, how do you think May felt when you pushed her?" and "Sue is crying, how do you think she feels?" and "Look at Tim he is laughing on the swing, I wonder how he is feeling?"
• Ask older children to use their executive functioning and reasoning skills - "How can we solve that problem together?" or "What is a fair way to work out a solution?" or "What can you say if you don't like when he does that?"​

Setting up a successful playground environment for children who have difficulty with social skills!

Some children (such as children with Autism Spectrum Disorder) may continue to struggle in a playground environment because of difficulties with social skills.  There are some playground modifications which can help these children as well as others.

(1) Provide quiet spaces.  
Playgrounds should provide places for social interaction as well as spaces where children may be alone or in a quiet space. This may be a bench under a tree, a fort, grass area or the library where children are encouraged in quiet time.

(2) Provide some structure within  the playground.
This may include time to eat in a certain area then time to play in a certain area. 

(3) Provide opportunities for structured games.  
This may include an area for board games, table tennis, hopscotch or basketball, etc.

(4) Provide opportunities for a "club" run by a teacher or older students.
This may include gardening, music, chess, frisbee, etc. 

(5) Provide a visual timer or clock so children can monitor how much time they have in the playground. 

(6) Provide a designated place for children to "meet up" in the playground.  

(7) Assign children to a "playground buddy" to look out for another child in the playground. 

(8) Provide a visual checklist of activities children may do whilst in the playground.  Maybe a few strategic posters could be placed outside the classroom windows.  
This may include eating lunch, playground equipment, visiting the bathroom, reading a book or it might include action pictures such as star jumps, frog jumps, hopping, etc. 

(9) Provide playground equipment which requires more than one child to operate.  
The "We-Saw" is an example of this sort of equipment which encourages social interaction.

What are your best tips for supporting children in the playground?

This article is part of “Functional Skills for Kids: 12 month series by Paediatric Occupational and Physical Therapists”. You can find lots of great tips and tricks to help your children thrive in the playground in the links below!
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Developmental Progression of Playground Skills  | Your Therapy Source
Promoting Fine Motor Skills at the Playground |Miss Jaime OT
How to Support Gross Motor Skills Needed for Playground Success | Mama OT
Sensory Integration Therapy at the Playground  | Sugar Aunts
Modification Ideas for Playground Equipment for Children | Growing Hands-On Kids
Playground Rules to Break for Greater Play Skill Development  | Kids Play Space
Playground Games and Activities for Kids | The Inspired Treehouse
Essential Social Skills To Survive the School Playground! |Your Kids OT
Developing Visual Skills and the Playground  | Therapy Fun Zone

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​Cindy is a registered Occupational Therapist practising in Sydney Australia.  She has two young children who are a constant source of inspiration and learning.  Cindy loves working creatively to help children to reach their potential, finding opportunities in everyday living and making learning fun. Cindy is the author of the Occupational Therapy blog Your Kids OT.

References:
Stagnitti, K. (2013) Learn to Play. A practical program to develop a child's imaginative play skills. Co-ordinates Publications. 

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