Ask an OT: Help! My child refuses to wear socks and shoes!﻿

Ask an OT: Help! My child refuses to wear socks and shoes!

19/7/2015

Welcome to a new series called "Ask an OT"! Since starting this blog 18 months ago I have been asked lots of questions! Often these questions are repeated as parents are all grappling with issues related to raising kids. The most common question is "What does an OT do?" Well you can read about that in the "about me" section of this blog.

As is the nature of this blog, all answers to "Ask an OT" are general in nature and do not replace an individual assessment and consultation with an Occupational Therapist.

Today, I'm answering "Help! My child hates wearing socks and shoes!"

This is a really common cry for help that I come across. The answer will depend on several factors.

(1) Age - How old is your child? If they are a toddler or preschooler, then they may be getting used to this new expectation! Are the socks and shoes chosen easy for them to put on themselves or do they have complicated fastenings? Have you taught them how to hold open the socks to wiggle in toes, then pull up? Have you tried "anklet" socks if they are having trouble with longer socks? Here is a helpful tip for those learning how to match shoes to the left and right feet.

(2) Disability - Does your child have a cognitive delay or a diagnosed disability such as Autism Spectrum Disorder? They may benefit from visual aids or a social story to help them to understand the expectation of when socks and shoes are to be worn. Avisual schedule may help your child to organised themselves to be "ready" with a daily routine.

(3) Sensory Issues - Is this an issue about the feel of the socks/stockings/shoes on their feet? If this is an isolated issue relating to sensation then keep reading as these strategies may help. If your child is exhibiting other issues with sensory information (eg. intolerant to food textures, having difficulty with certain noises, constantly seeking movement, etc), then seek help from an Occupational Therapist for a full sensory processing evaluation.

Our sense of touch is an important protective tool that we use to identify when something is sharp, hot, or may cause us harm. "Children with sensory over-responsivity (sometimes called "sensory defensiveness" respond to sensory messages more intensely, more quickly, and/or for a longer time than children with normal sensory responsivity". * This means that a sensation (in this case socks, stockings or shoes) may be perceived as "painful" and the child may have a "fright, flight, fight" response. "An individual with hypersensitivity to touch ortactile defensiveness appears to overreact to sensation that most people don't particularly notice, or at least are not bothered by". **

So what can you do?

(a) Understand the problem and acknowledge your child's feelings.
Your child will probably be exhibiting an emotional response to this problem as it is a frustration between an external expectation placed on them and the perceived "pain" they may be experiencing. You as a parent may also be experiencing an emotional response...acknowledge your child (and your) feelings. Reading this article will help you to understand the problem a bit further.

(b) Prepare your child and their legs/feet. Often firm deep pressure can help to calm a child and override tactile irritation.
> You could try a massaging (eg. with lotion) the legs and feet prior to wearing socks and shoes.
> You could try "sandwiching" the child's legs between cushions or wrapping in a towel/blanket for a few minutes.
> You could try a "heavy weight" such as a bag of rice or cuddle from a pet (under 5% of the child's body weight).
> You could try "heavy work" such as jumping on a trampoline.

(c) Modify the environment (ie. the socks/stocking/shoes).
> You could try turning socks and stockings inside out so the seams are away from the legs and feet. This simple change can often help children instantly. Hidden underneath shoes, no one else needs to know!
> You may purchase "seamless" socks and stockings (underwear and other clothing too) from companies such as It Makes Sense.
>Does your child prefer certain material (eg. cotton rather than wool)? Do they prefer tight fitting or loose fitting socks? Are thicker stocking more tolerable than thinner stockings?
> Does your child have a preference with shoes as some fastenings may irritate (eg. laces vs velcro vs buckle vs pull on shoes).
> Does your child dislike tight fitting shoes? You could try buying shoes half a size bigger so their toe does not touch the end of the shoe or slightly wider shoes.

(d) Provide opportunities when your child does not need to wear socks and shoes (eg. at home or on the weekends). This is NOT giving in to your child! It is listening to your child's sensory signals and allowing them to self-regulate.

(e) Seek an OT assessment. Your child may benefit from a comprehensive assessment and a sensory diet to address this issue.

Do you have a question that you would like to "Ask an OT"? Email me at cindy@yourkidsot.com and your answer may be featured on the blog!

References:
* Miller, LJ (2006)Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
** Mailloux, Z (1993) Tactile Defensiveness: Some People are More Sensitive from Sensory Integration Quarterly.

You may also like:

My child hates "messy" play!

Tactile Defensiveness: What can we do?

Sensory Processing Disorder: A mum's experience

17 Comments

Chrissie link

25/7/2015 12:26:31 am

Some great tips - thank you! This might come in useful for some of the families I work with! I also worked with a little boy who wouldn't take his socks off - EVER! He even wore them in the bath! xx

Cindy@Your Kids OT link

25/7/2015 10:41:38 am

Thanks Chrissie. That's challenging too!

tiptoe

26/12/2019 10:13:43 pm

Perhaps he was getting used to wearing socks all the time too soon, so he never learned to enjoy his natural state of being barefoot. Yet another reason of treating socks and shoes like hats and gloves: Optional items that are only worn when it's cold.

tiptoe

24/12/2019 10:19:55 pm

Or maybe they just prefer to be barefoot, which is perfectly fine when it's not freezing. Wearing shoes might be a social standard, but it's not necessary when your feet are well trained. Shoes are great protection against extreme temperatures or dangerous environments, but wearing shoes all the time is certainly not necessary.
Let them go barefoot if they prefer; if they get cold feet they will certainly tell so. They will end up with stronger feet, no deformations, no ingrown nails, no fungus, no bad smells, maybe with an occasional stubbed toe or splinter but that takes not long to heal.

Doug

25/12/2019 01:08:10 am

There is nothing wrong with a child, or anyone not wanting to wear shoes. Shoes are constructive, unnatural and uncomfortable. It’s safe for your child to be barefoot in many settings so just let them. Obviously if it’s really cold or an industrial setting they will need shoes, but otherwise I say just let your child wear shoes or not as they prefer.

Kris

25/12/2019 02:54:56 am

The whole flavor of this makes it sound as if a child wanting to be barefoot is unnatural. Here's the next "disorder" waiting to be identified! I can name it now...BDD-Barefoot Desire Disorder. The desire to entrap your feet in shoes is what is unnatural. Oh, it doesn't seem that way after generations of social conditioning.The OT talked about our sense of touch. Consider this: there are over 100,000 sensory nerve receptors in each of your feet...more than anywhere else in the human body. Those transmit hundreds of thousands of messages to your brain with each footstep, and your brain tells your muscles to make adjustments and corrections in balance at lightening speed. Don't believe me? Try walking on a treadmill barefoot once, if you normally wear shoes. You will be shocked at the difference in balance and alignment! One time! And that all happens without you being aware of it. The human body is an amazing machine! If you are a habitual shoe wearer, think about this: you are choking off that marvelous function of the nervous system. Listen to your body. It's perfectly natural to be barefoot. We all went barefoot as kids. Then someone told us we had to grow up. Being barefoot is natural. Keeping your feet locked away from sunlight, fresh air, and all of the wonderful tactile sensations on this earth is not. I am 60 years old and spend most of my life barefoot. Do you have an open mind? Check out Society for Barefoot Living. Website "barefooters.org". As I like to say, there's a barefoot child in all of us yearning to be set free.

Miguel A. González

26/12/2019 03:39:00 am

There is nothing wrong wrong with a child, or an adult, for that matter, going barefoot. There's no law or Health Department codes against it. Closed toe shoes are one of the worst things you can do to a child. They affect posture and normal foot development. One study in India years ago, found that children that went barefoot had virtually zero incidences of flat feet, as opposed to those who wore closed toe shoes. That is because the muscles in your feet that support the arch get atrophied. Did you grow up wearing shoes? If so, look at your feet. Do your big toes point inward? They're not supposed to do that. Other studies suggest that children who go barefoot have stronger immune systems. Some other studies suggest that running shoes cause a lot more stress to the joints and mask the effects of injuries until it's too late.
In places like South Africa and New Zealand, children routinely attend school and participate in sports barefoot. Here in the U.S. until the mid 20th century, in many areas childrdrop (no heel) to help with posture, a wide toe box, and thin soles that allow the foot to flex more naturally.. You might also want to check the barefooters.org and gunshot.org websites. The gunshot.org website focuses on children.outinely attended and grew up barefoot.
Like gloves, shoes are a tool. They are not necessary for most situations. The human body is very adaptable. Humans went barefoot for tens of thousands of years before shoes were invented. If closed toe shoes are a must, because of short-sighted school rules, you should consider some type of minimalist shoes like Xero brand shoes that have zero drop

Miguel A. González

26/12/2019 03:45:30 am

After I hit submit, I noticed the autospell had messed up. It should be unshod.org, not gunshot.org. Also, somehow the paragraph at the end got inserted in the middle.

Meghan Lindquist

27/12/2019 03:55:29 am

Sounds like me as a child. Or as an adult. I love going barefoot!

Fortunately my parents didn't have a problem with it. I was well-behaved, I didn't get into trouble, I was a good student, & Mom said that if going barefoot is the worst thing I ever did she was the luckiest parent in the world. She let me go barefoot most of the time, the world didn't end & I turned out just fine!

Kriss link

27/12/2019 04:25:30 am

Excellent insight and advice from the comments I've read here so far. The point is, as I see it, is that hating to wear shoes and socks is a completely natural reaction for anyone who has never done it or been forced to do it - a small child or anyone else. Small children react directly to their instincts and emotions, and so refusing to let this potentially torture device be placed on them is a natural reaction. Feet were designed to function perfectly without the "support" and unnatural constraint of shoes.

Unlike most clothes that human beings generally wear - which do little to no harm to the body - shoes, especially closed shoes, indeed harm feet over time. If that were not the case, there would hardly be a need for the existence of podiatrists. It's been estimated that approximately 90% of all foot ailments are either directly caused by or exacerbated by shoe wearing.

So a child hating to wear shoes and socks is completely natural and normal. I don't see that as something to worry about at all. Of course, part of growing up obviously means learning to do certain things that a child would rather not do. Sometimes it is necessary for a child to put on shoes - such as in extreme weather conditions or perhaps the requirements of certain schools the child may need to attend - but the best advice for this parent (or any parent) is to just let the child be barefoot and enjoy being barefoot as long as he or she can. The child will be happier and his or her feet will be healthier.

29/10/2020 08:36:59 am

Actually it’s unsanitary to walk around outside barefoot, absolutely. Ringworm, god knows what else. Also you’re tracking that into Your house and bed, that’s disgusting. People wear shoes
When they go out just like they have to wear clothes. End of story it’s not negotiable. It sounds to me like a disciplinary issue rather than a sensory issue. You can’t go
Into a store barefoot or a restaurant ew come on , this is life , get over it and put on some flip flops or Birkenstock’s at the very least. There are codes and rules that we need to follow
And your kids need to learn that.

Tammy link

30/10/2020 06:32:27 am

Great Thanks so much!!!!!! Try explaining that to my 3 1/2 yr old non verbal autistic son. He is not a disciplinary problem at all. He just does not like shoes and socks, although I can sometimes convince him to keep them on and I know it is a struggle for him at school. No one want to see their child distraught or in pain, at least I think so

Kriss link

31/10/2020 02:15:46 am

Tammy, just let your child go barefoot as much as he wants. It's healthy and natural, and cause no harm whatsoever.

Kriss link

31/10/2020 02:12:30 am

How is walking barefoot outside “unsanitary"? If that’s a big problem, then we shouldn’t be walking outside in shoes either. They touch the same ground as bare feet would. And you track what’s on your shoes into your house and other places as well. Yet you never wash your shoes - unlike bare feet, which get washed regularly - and touch your shoes with your hands when taking them off or putting them on, and then your hands touch everything else in your house, including other people.

As to ringworm, that’s a fungus, and fungi cannot live and grow on skin exposed to fresh air and sunlight. It’s shoe wearers who get fungal infections, such as athlete’s foot, because the inside of shoes are virtual Petri dishes for bacteria and fungi growth.

Actually you can go into a store or restaurant barefoot, unless some individual business may have some arbitrary dress code against it – though most don’t. But we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about kids just doing what kids have naturally done for ages. Playing outside barefoot. It’s healthy, fun, and helps their feet grow and develop normally. Constantly being closed up in shoes causes weak and deformed feet and toes, and it’s actually cruel to force a child to live that way constantly.

Betsy Verney

26/12/2020 03:00:35 am

I guess it partly depends on where you live. If you're in a rural area it may often be safe to be bare foot, but if you live in a city like me you'd be dealing with cuts from broken glass, plastic shards etc, on a daily basis. I think most children just have to accept that you need to wear shoes when you leave the house, just like you have to be strapped into the car seat when you go for a drive, or take medicine if you're sick... It's not ideal, but it's an unavoidable part of life and their safety has to come first...

Eva link

24/4/2021 08:20:23 pm

The article has a valuable content, which has helped me a lot in understanding Help! My child refuses to wear socks and shoes!.

Stephanie Audett link

26/11/2021 12:21:11 pm

How do I stop my son from shoving his feet under me on me . Sometimes that back and forth motion with his feet ? Thanks

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Hi, I'm Cindy and I am an Occupational Therapist. I enjoy working creatively with children to see them reach their potential. Read more about me here.